September Farewells

111 years ago – by the end of September of the year 1912 – Dagny and Robert were on the move again after having spent two years in Sweden. During this time, Dagny had given birth to a baby girl – Helfrid – at the age of 42, and another eight-year period in China awaited her and her husband. But before leaving Sweden, the couple had to make a very hard decision.

Robert and Dagny

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The children who were old enough, would have to stay behind to go to school in Sweden. Dagny was feeling very sad at having to say good-bye to her children. In fact, four of them would now be in Sweden, and only the little ones – Rolland, five years and Helfrid, 1,5 years would come with them to China.

It was, of course, very hard for the parents to leave their children behind. Morris, who was the eldest, and had been sent back to Sweden seven years earlier, was also hard to leave. They had now been able to see him for two years and get to know him. Leaving Sweden and Morris, would mean they would not be there for his most formative years – as he was going to be an adult by the time they would see each other again.

At Strömsborg in 1911. Lotten Hagelin in a big hat, Dagny with Helfrid on her lap. Dagny-Edla (no 3), Robert (no 6) with Rolland on his lap. Martin (no 2) and Wilhelm (no 4). Morris with a black hat in the back.

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Dagny wrote about the separation from her children in a rare emotional text:

“In 1912, shortly before our third journey to China, I was invited out one afternoon. My heart was heavy because we were leaving four of our children behind in Sweden. Only the two youngest would accompany us. During the evening, one of the ladies, perhaps a bit sharply, said to me, “How can Mrs. Bergling leave her children? Is it right for a mother?”

I could only refer to the missionary command in Matthew 28:19: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations!” and chapter 19:29: “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.” It wasn’t the “hundredfold” that was the driving force, but the love for Him who gave us the call to missions and sacrificed everything for us.

The day approached, and tickets were purchased when one of the children, eight years old, firmly grabbed onto me and said, “Mother, don’t go away from us, we can’t bear to be separated from both of you

“My beloved child, do you feel that way?” I said, tears filling my eyes as I bent over him. “I will talk to Dad about it,” I said.

Robert and I deliberated on what to do. I gathered our four beloved children who would stay behind and informed them of what father had said. I would stay with the children in Sweden for the time being, and we would make the best of it together. I expected them to be overjoyed. Instead, they all fell silent as they sat in a half-circle around me. I looked at them in amazement. Finally, one of them said, “Who will tell the Chinese about Jesus, then?”

“But father is going, and other missionaries,” I said to comfort them. Again, silence. The dear little ones looked at each other. Then one of them said, “But the people mother was supposed to talk to about Jesus, they won’t get to hear anything!”

It was a solemn moment that I can never forget. I can still see their faces, the oldest at fourteen, the youngest at six. There was a struggle in the children’s souls. It was a matter of sacrificing their mother on the altar for the salvation of the heathens, in accordance with the missionary call. A sacred silence filled the room. A voice trembled as one of them said, “Go, mother, we will stay home and pray for father’s and mother’s work. On Sundays, when we can, we will gather together and pray.” They all agreed on this, and they faithfully kept their promise throughout the years. The day came when the boat with father and mother and the two younger siblings left Stockholm. Friends lovingly cared for those who remained behind. Morris, however, was left alone, and he had to follow the boat as long as it was visible.”

From a child’s point of view
Morris also wrote about this difficult time in a small pamphlet about his experiences in and out of China.

“For me, this meant that I lost my parents’ upbringing and care during the most critical years of my life, critical years for my faith, my Christian life, and for the choice of my vocation. Missionary children could sometimes develop into being outright hateful towards the mission and everything associated with it. My siblings and I tried to maintain spiritual contact, among other things, by gathering in my room every Sunday to pray for us and our loved ones in China.“

Dagny-Edla, Martin, Rolland, Wilhelm and Morris in Sweden. As Rolland would have been sent back to Sweden as a 7-year-old. This photo is probably at the earliest from 1914. My guess is around 1916 (as Morris does look around 18 years old and Dagny-Edla could be 16 years in this photo).

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Travelling light?
For the first time ever, the family would travel by train via Russia to China. The first part of the journey – from Stockholm to St. Petersburg in Russia, was made by boat. It would take a bit over a month to get to China, which was decidedly faster than going by boat all the wat to Shanghai. Such a journey could take around three months.

In St. Petersburg, Dagny and Robert managed to arrange train tickets on the overcrowded train that would take them toTjeljabinsk. They had to wait until the following day there. Then they could board a new train for a five-day journey to Irkutsk. In Irkutsk, they disembarked and waited a day to board the next train. During the journey, they had to make twelve train changes, which was not easy with a small baby, a five-year-old, and a lot of luggage. When they arrived in China, they had lost most of their luggage to thieves and on top of that Robert and Dagny found there were no missionaries left at the station. All of them had gone when the revolution broke out. Many things had changed over the last two years. Men no longer wore the long Manchurian braid, and it was not unusal for them to dress in European clothes.

A few months later, Dagny and Robert’s daughter Helfrid fell sick and died. For the second time, the couple had to bury a child of theirs in China. Helfrid was laid to rest beside her brother Adolf Wilhelm.

Reunion at last
When Dagny and Robert finally could go back to Sweden after eight years, they had another son with them – my grandfather Rudolf. He was to meet his siblings in Sweden for the first time, seven years old.

But the eldest brother Morris’ focus was not his youngest sibling, but on meeting his parents again. In his own words:

“The eight parentless years also came to an end. On a September morning in 1920, we were to reunite with our family. I was no longer a 14-year-old boy as they had last seen me, but 22 years old, a student and a primary school teacher. It felt somewhat strange to meet parents whom I actually knew so little about. What did they look like? What were they like?

There, the Italy Express rushed into the platform at Stockholm Central. Curious glances. Awkward embraces. But then! What a day of joyful surprises! What a genuine father! What a delightful mother! We found each other in a single great earthly and spiritual fellowship. The Lord had used them in China, and we had, in a way, been a part of their missionary effort.”

Missing pieces
The missionaries were indeed called by their faith to save the heathens in other countries, but they were surely not the only ones making a great sacrifice. Their children were, in my opinion, making an even larger sacrifice in not having their parents to care for them as they were growing up. Though they were usually well cared for by friends and relatives in their home country, they were at the same time a kind of orphans, not having the luxury of mirroring themselves in their parents, recieving their advice or sharing their lives. And it is very hard to compensate for so many lost years, even if you meet again and find that you like each other. There are simply too many important moments that have been lost forever. Too many questions that were never answered and too many hugs never given. This would of course also have consequences on the missionary chilren’s own parenting later on in life, but that is another story.